Everyone else was on the pill so why shouldn’t I be too? My cramps were bad and my PMS bordered on extreme, so what did I have to lose? I would have to go to the gyno sooner or later, so why not just get it over with, right? I approached my Mom the next day and told her that I wanted to get on the pill. At first, she needed a little assurance that I didn’t want it as a contraceptive, but as a way to better my “quality of life”.

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "Many females are on birth control like the pill even if they are not sexually active. The pill is one of several birth control methods out there that does regulate a female’s menstrual cycle so that she can have lighter periods and fewer cramps. So if a female is taking birth control, it does not mean that she is sexually active. However, if she decided to become sexually active, she will also be protected against pregnancy but not sexually transmitted infections."

Sounds like a strange request, but it’s not so strange if you knew I was raised Catholic. I had never really ventured below the belt or even above the belt for that matter, and had yet to have my first real boyfriend. But regardless, I decided to make the appointment, and with my mom we went to improve my “quality of life”. After insisting that my mom be allowed to be in the room with me, I quickly changed into the flimsy paper gown provided for my “modesty”.

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "For confidentiality of patients, most medical centers will have rules where only the patient can be in the exam room. Sometimes a parent or family member may be allowed, but don’t get offended if they are not allowed. The medical centers are doing their job by protecting your privacy as a patient."

As I lay back on the cold, paper-covered exam table, I tried to relax in the glare of the fluorescent lighting. I was laying on my back when I was startled by a quick knock and the entrance of a man not a day over 40. We’ll call him “Dr. Rivers”. Now, Dr. Rivers was a busy man, a fact made even more obvious by his inability to let me finish introducing myself, let alone make eye contact, as he snapped on the tight latex gloves.

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "If a male is performing a female pelvic exam, he must always have a female medical staff present in the room at all times. It’s the law."

We started with the breast exam…

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "True, a pelvic exam also includes an examination of the breasts because you have to take care of those too."

I thought to myself that as long as I didn’t look at him it wouldn’t be awkward. I tried to focus on other things until I started laughing hysterically! Partly from the sheer nervousness and partly because I am extremely ticklish. As awkward as that was, I knew the pelvic exam was coming next. It seems the lower half of my body knew as well and showed it by tensing up like it was hanging on for dear life. I watched helplessly as the doctor took out the speculum. It seemed huge as its shiny stainless steel surface glinted in the horrible lighting. He ran it under warm water so it wouldn’t be so cold. How sweet! There was still no way that that was going to fit inside+ my body. It only got worse when the doctor seated himself at the end of the table, instructed me to place my feet in the stirrups (the metal footholds at the end of the exam table) and asked me to scoot myself down all the way to the end. “Nope. A little further. Further still. Not quite. There… Now take a deep breath and relax.” Just relax, he kept telling me to just relax, but I had no control over the lower half of my body! It was refusing to cooperate. And I couldn’t say I disagreed, either. That thing was NOT going to fit. After arguing this point for the next five minutes, Dr. Rivers agreed to use a smaller, plastic speculum normally used for persons of a younger age. I said that we could try the plastic speculum, but that I wouldn’t make any promises that I’d let it in. Sure enough, my body still refused to cooperate. At this point, busy Dr Rivers exhales loudly and proclaims that he cannot do the exam if I refuse to cooperate. As the tears well up in my eyes, I apologize to the doctor, the nurse, and my mother for wasting everyone’s time.

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "It is important for you to find a doctor you are comfortable with. If a doctor or health care professional makes you feel uncomfortable or seems frustrated with you as a patient, it’s definitely time to switch. You’re less likely to see your doctor regularly as needed if you feel uncomfortable with him/her."

A whole three years would go by before I ever entered another gynecologist’s office. During that visit I finally did relax. I made sure to request a woman gynecologist, something I wish I knew I could do before my first appointment!

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "Three years is a LONG time to go without a pelvic exam. That could potentially be very dangerous, especially if the female comes in contact with an infection that could lead to cervical cancer or pelvic inflammatory disease."

Every girl’s first experience is a little awkward, some moreso than others, but it’s important to get past the first visit. When I finally got the courage to go back, it wasn’t as bad as I remembered. In fact, each time I’ve gone it’s been a little easier and now I can talk about movies and restaurants with my gyno while she is examining me. Even though the idea of being totally naked in front of someone I only see once a year is still a little weird, I have to say that I am really proud of myself for taking my health into my own hands.

The Sex Ed Guru Says: "If a female is under age 21 and has not been sexually active, it is possible to get birth control without having a pelvic exam first, but this exam should be done regularly soon thereafter."